Can't Save Them All

I don't always realize how random the moments God sometimes uses to talk to me are. Having a relationship with Him is unique because, as long as you're listening, He can talk to you at any moment of your day. I have been trying to improve my awareness of His presence with me throughout the day this semester, and so far it is still a work in progress. But last week, He spoke really clearly.

Jesus is the love of my life. He has captivated me, heart mind and soul. And I want nothing more than to help everyone know His love for them. As a missionary at UMD the past year and a half, God has developed within me a heart for His children here on this campus. It's a great gift to motivate me and encourage me, especially when I'm tired and a little stressed. Sometimes though, it is also frustrating. I look at the fruit that has come through our team these past semesters and think, there are still so many more! Only 150ish students in bible study, 300-350 at Mass on Sunday.... for someone who likes to check things off a list, it's hard sometimes to realize that this campus is still a long way from fully belonging to Jesus. What more can I do?

Well, last week, I was walking through the main hallway on my way back to Newman after some meetings at the coffee shop. And I was getting a little discouraged at how many students passed me that I do not know. Then God spoke: "Kristen, you can't save them all. Only I can. All I'm asking of you is to make a difference for a few, who will do the same for others... until they all know me." My response: "That's it?"

See, sometimes I think in our pride, we want to be the savior. We are not. Jesus is. Only He can save those around us. Sometimes we try to take on more than we are capable of and think God is asking the impossible of us. We think "I can't do all this... I'm going to fail at what He is asking." But the amazing thing about how spiritual multiplication works is that if I do what He has asks of me and invest in the disciples He has given me and then women in my two bible studies, then hopefully they will also reach some of the women on campus. And over time, all UMD women will meet Jesus. That's all I can pray for. That's all God is asking. And I can do that.

This semester, my focus has shifted to this more intentional approach to my mission. I'm trying to spend most of my time investing in my team, disciples, and bible studies through prayer and personal relationships. Because God is so right, I can't save them all. But if His Church here at UMD simply does what He is asking, we can allow Him to work through us. And someday I know this campus will be His.