As someone who grew up Catholic, I've attended thousands of Masses in my 24 1/2 years of life. I've even been to Mass in other countries and languages. Since my freshman year of college, I've been a pretty faithful daily mass goer, with my current role as a full-time missionary easily allowing time for this every day. Yet, it was yesterday at Mass that it all became very real.
I think one of the potential pitfalls of loving to read about the Catholic faith is that it can sometimes seem too good to be true, like a really good story.... and end there. I've read the Bible, the Catechism, and countless books about the saints, evangelization, Church teaching, and sacraments. Even a few books on the Mass. But I think when I read about how the Mass is Heaven on Earth, or how it is our participation in the worship God receives from saints and angels in Heaven, I thought: "well that's real nice." I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this either... I've met students and talked to people whose experience of Mass just isn't what these books made it out to be. And so I thought "hm... if only this were true."
Now, I'm not saying I've never had a good experience at Mass or that God has never given me any grace from Mass. But, this Sunday everything felt real in a way I can't remember ever experiencing before. As I heard the first reading proclaimed, I truly felt part of a family, a group of believers, coming together to listen to God's word - not just be talked at. I was filled with an awe of the Eucharist that I have sometimes experienced, but was combined with deep gratitude and a feeling of unworthiness to receive Jesus' Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity into my own body. And overall, a deep joy flooded my heart. All that I have read is actually true and I don't need to think "if only..."!
Not only has my appreciation and understanding of the reality of the Mass been radically transformed by yesterday morning, but so has my approach to reading about the faith. As I read my current book (Evangelical Catholicism - George Weigel) while on the elliptical today, I realized that he is talking about a real Church, with real people, and a real mission. No longer is reading simply reading, it's a deepening of my understanding of reality. My faith in Jesus is real, and it makes a difference. The Catholic faith that I believe is real - and not just for me, but for the world. It is the truth, not a truth, and one that the world desperately needs. Rather than approaching mission as sharing how Jesus has transformed my life (which I will still do), I feel like now I can more fully share with people that Jesus can and will transform their life for the better as well.
To those of you reading this, I encourage you to ask God for the grace to see your faith in Him in a real and tangible way this week. Maybe it will be through the beauty of creation or through the love of another person. Maybe it will be experiencing the Mass or Confession as the instruments of God's grace that they are. I pray that you will be able to know the reality of God's love for you - and live your life in a way that invites others to know His love for them.
Monday, March 24, 2014
Saturday, March 8, 2014
How Guyana transformed my Ash Wednesday
It has been seven months now since my mission trip to Guyana last summer. In some ways, I had been assuming that I had realized all the fruits of those two weeks on mission. Yet, all that changed this past Wednesday as we as a Church began Lent 2014.
I like food. And snacking. And my daily coffee. So you can imagine that fasting isn't exactly something I approach with a smile. I fully understand the point - letting ourselves hurt a little physically and participate in Jesus' sufferings - but it's just hard! It seems that the days I fast are the days my body wants food and coffee most! So I woke up Wednesday thinking, alright... here we go... just gotta make it til bedtime. or midnight.
On Ash Wednesday, Catholics abstain from meat and take part in a fast of no snacking and significantly smaller meals. So, I went about my day with minimal food, no snacks, and no coffee (that last part is all Lent... 40 days with no coffee...). Yet, as the day went on, I realized something amazing... I was still functioning and even smiling! Most of the day, I didn't even notice that I was eating significantly less than a typical day. What changed?!?
My heart. That's what. And my ability to be outside my comfort zone physically. I know this is from Guyana. In Guyana, I was drastically outside my comfort zone. The hot, humid climate. No communication with home. Cold, quick showers. Sleeping under a mosquito net, constantly applying sunscreen and bug spray. Long days, lots of walking. Throughout the trip, I struggled to move past the physical discomforts and embrace them for the mission. I was frustrated with myself for being stuck on all this, rather than loving and embracing it all as a sacrifice. Even in the days and weeks following my return to AC, hot showers, and American food, I still wondered why I had been so distracted by the physical discomfort of being on mission. Now, I get it.
It has taken all of these seven months, but now I'm able to see that God used those two weeks of extreme physical discomfort to show me that those things don't matter, and that I need to let go. In reflecting more, I realized that I rarely take long showers anymore, and I don't snack much either. Ash Wednesday was easier because in a sense, it was nothing compared to my mission trip. Especially our travel there, running on about 2 hours of sleep in 48 hours. I hope that particular hardship starts helping me survive without coffee soon... or this might be a bit of a tired Lent.
I'm no longer frustrated about the "distraction" of physical discomfort I experienced throughout my time in Guyana. I see now that it was a lifelong lesson God wanted to teach me, and I'm very thankful that now I can be a better witness to the beauty of fasting for Him. The delayed realization of this grace has also revealed that I should never assume that God is done teaching me lessons from any experience... He loves to surprise me.
May you all have a most blessed Lent!
I like food. And snacking. And my daily coffee. So you can imagine that fasting isn't exactly something I approach with a smile. I fully understand the point - letting ourselves hurt a little physically and participate in Jesus' sufferings - but it's just hard! It seems that the days I fast are the days my body wants food and coffee most! So I woke up Wednesday thinking, alright... here we go... just gotta make it til bedtime. or midnight.
On Ash Wednesday, Catholics abstain from meat and take part in a fast of no snacking and significantly smaller meals. So, I went about my day with minimal food, no snacks, and no coffee (that last part is all Lent... 40 days with no coffee...). Yet, as the day went on, I realized something amazing... I was still functioning and even smiling! Most of the day, I didn't even notice that I was eating significantly less than a typical day. What changed?!?
My heart. That's what. And my ability to be outside my comfort zone physically. I know this is from Guyana. In Guyana, I was drastically outside my comfort zone. The hot, humid climate. No communication with home. Cold, quick showers. Sleeping under a mosquito net, constantly applying sunscreen and bug spray. Long days, lots of walking. Throughout the trip, I struggled to move past the physical discomforts and embrace them for the mission. I was frustrated with myself for being stuck on all this, rather than loving and embracing it all as a sacrifice. Even in the days and weeks following my return to AC, hot showers, and American food, I still wondered why I had been so distracted by the physical discomfort of being on mission. Now, I get it.
It has taken all of these seven months, but now I'm able to see that God used those two weeks of extreme physical discomfort to show me that those things don't matter, and that I need to let go. In reflecting more, I realized that I rarely take long showers anymore, and I don't snack much either. Ash Wednesday was easier because in a sense, it was nothing compared to my mission trip. Especially our travel there, running on about 2 hours of sleep in 48 hours. I hope that particular hardship starts helping me survive without coffee soon... or this might be a bit of a tired Lent.
I'm no longer frustrated about the "distraction" of physical discomfort I experienced throughout my time in Guyana. I see now that it was a lifelong lesson God wanted to teach me, and I'm very thankful that now I can be a better witness to the beauty of fasting for Him. The delayed realization of this grace has also revealed that I should never assume that God is done teaching me lessons from any experience... He loves to surprise me.
May you all have a most blessed Lent!
Monday, March 3, 2014
Joyful Minions
The title of this post might have you a little curious... but it's all about discipleship. Just read on, the minions will make sense soon.
Possibly the biggest role I have as a FOCUS missionary is to equip students to be student missionaries, inviting them into discipleship and building them up to be sent on mission while students, but ultimately for the rest of their lives on this earth. This semester, I am blessed to disciple five amazing women. This means that each week, I get to spend an hour with each of them, talking about how their prayer life is, setting goals, and discussing struggles and successes they have in reaching women in their lives and bible studies. It is another of my favorite parts of each week.
Community is important and I realized a couple weeks ago that even though I get to spend time each week with these five ladies, rarely do they all get to be together due to busy work, school, and bible study schedules. So I sent a doodle poll (best tool ever for scheduling) and found a time that worked. 9pm. Thursday. Alright let's do it. I confirmed with everyone and asked them to set aside that time last week, and bought Minion (Despicable Me) graham crackers..... not even knowing what would happen.
As my bible study finished and all the disciples arrived, we popped open the box of minions for a snack. As we did, we realize that there are six minions named on the box... and six of us. We quickly proceed to each choose a minion and then joke about which is which. I cannot put into words the incredible laughter and joy surrounding this... and all over minion crackers. We had some good time sharing our work as missionaries and getting to know one another.... but the lasting impression of the night was joy.
As I thought more about the evening, I realized that the joy comes from each of us choosing daily to be a disciple of Christ. There's even a connection to the movie these minions come from... hear me out. In Despicable Me, the minions follow their leader (Gru) and do whatever he asks. They trust him and have lots of fun together. And they are always joyful (and hilarious). So too with disciples of Jesus. When we can trust Him and do as He says, we too can experience the joy of working for a greater cause than ourselves, together. The minions never work alone, they are always in small groups. So too with us, we must stick together in our cause to help Jesus win back the world. Rather than getting to steal the moon.... we hope to obtain eternal life. I am so thankful that I get to help these five women in their walk of discipleship. Thank you, ladies, for saying yes to Jesus!
Possibly the biggest role I have as a FOCUS missionary is to equip students to be student missionaries, inviting them into discipleship and building them up to be sent on mission while students, but ultimately for the rest of their lives on this earth. This semester, I am blessed to disciple five amazing women. This means that each week, I get to spend an hour with each of them, talking about how their prayer life is, setting goals, and discussing struggles and successes they have in reaching women in their lives and bible studies. It is another of my favorite parts of each week.
Community is important and I realized a couple weeks ago that even though I get to spend time each week with these five ladies, rarely do they all get to be together due to busy work, school, and bible study schedules. So I sent a doodle poll (best tool ever for scheduling) and found a time that worked. 9pm. Thursday. Alright let's do it. I confirmed with everyone and asked them to set aside that time last week, and bought Minion (Despicable Me) graham crackers..... not even knowing what would happen.
As my bible study finished and all the disciples arrived, we popped open the box of minions for a snack. As we did, we realize that there are six minions named on the box... and six of us. We quickly proceed to each choose a minion and then joke about which is which. I cannot put into words the incredible laughter and joy surrounding this... and all over minion crackers. We had some good time sharing our work as missionaries and getting to know one another.... but the lasting impression of the night was joy.
As I thought more about the evening, I realized that the joy comes from each of us choosing daily to be a disciple of Christ. There's even a connection to the movie these minions come from... hear me out. In Despicable Me, the minions follow their leader (Gru) and do whatever he asks. They trust him and have lots of fun together. And they are always joyful (and hilarious). So too with disciples of Jesus. When we can trust Him and do as He says, we too can experience the joy of working for a greater cause than ourselves, together. The minions never work alone, they are always in small groups. So too with us, we must stick together in our cause to help Jesus win back the world. Rather than getting to steal the moon.... we hope to obtain eternal life. I am so thankful that I get to help these five women in their walk of discipleship. Thank you, ladies, for saying yes to Jesus!
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| back: Monica, Teia, Kayla front: me, Kayla, Shannon |
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| the minion list |
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