Today was a great reminder of why I need to spend time in Adoration whenever possible. I entered the beautiful Adoration chapel at my home parish with my mind racing today. Lately, I have been feeling the approach of the upcoming school year quite acutely and have been wondering how I will ever be ready when my students show up on August 21st. Add in finishing my online class, teaching Vacation Bible School, and planning a wedding and life just seems overwhelming! I spent the first part of my prayer simply distracted. Finally, I gave up my attempt at meditating on today's Gospel and opened my current prayer-time read: a book compiling various reflections on the saints from Pope Benedict XVI.
After reading what he had to say about St. Joseph and Mary's fiat at the Annunciation, a theme was beginning to develop.... simply do the task that God has given you. After all, that is what Mary and her spouse Joseph did to become saints... they simply and humbly did what God asked ("Be it done unto me according to your word.") As I came to this recognition, I noticed a deep peace fill my soul and a strange new confidence fill me... I'm going to be ready.
This summer has been one big lesson in letting God prepare me for the roles He has planned for me. Every day presents new challenges and opportunities to grow as a future teacher and wife. I am thrilled to begin my teaching career, and even more excited to begin my marriage to Devin. God has called me to these great roles... and He just needs a simple yes. He does all the rest. With Him, I know that I will be ready when those seventh graders show up in just a few weeks. And I know that everything will fall into place to make our wedding day a beautiful one. God won't have it any other way.
It's amazing what that prayer time did for my attitude. I headed off to Caribou (or as my mom would say, my office) this afternoon and was incredibly productive. My online class is no longer causing me stress. Preparing for school will be a breeze thanks to Pinterest (I don't know how teachers could do it otherwise). Once my confidence in my call to teach was lit, the ideas, hopes, and dreams for the year came faster than I could write them.
I know that there will be times when the world will shake my peace a little. But at least I know how to find it again - by simply saying yes to Jesus's invitation to just sit with Him. After all.... He has waited over 2000 years in the Eucharist just for me to be able to visit Him there.
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Monday, July 7, 2014
He Hears Me... Literally
Last week, I was running a little late to get to 5:15 mass after a day of babysitting. I had decided to return some library books, and found myself crunched on time in rush-hour traffic (yes... Fargo, ND has a rush hour). As I waited at yet another red light, I prayed: "Jesus, please help me be on time for Mass." The minutes continued to tick by as I approached each block closer to St. Anthony's. As I took my last turn, I again glanced at the clock: 5:13. And then I smiled. I would get there... literally on time. "Ok, Lord, a little early would also have worked.." I parked my car and got into the Church, joining Devin in the pew as the priest entered. Jesus got me there on time... with a literal answer to my quick prayer.
It's funny because just earlier that day I was reading the daily Gospel and marveling at the disbelief of Jesus' apostles. The Gospel was Matthew 8:23-27, where Jesus calms the storm at sea. The apostles wake Him in the midst of the storm: "Lord, save us! We are perishing!" And then, just a few verses later, after Jesus has done what they asked, they are "amazed" and say: "What sort of man is this, whom even the winds and the sea obey?" Um... hello apostles... you're the ones who woke Jesus and asked Him to save you... why are you so surprised that He was able to do what you asked?
I think that sometimes we are like the apostles. We ask God for something in prayer and then, when He does just what we asked, we are confused. How did He do that? We, like the apostles, have "little faith." We pray, but we don't actually believe that God hears us or will actually respond. But if God truly loves us as His children... why wouldn't He? And if God is really all-powerful, why do we doubt His ability to intervene?
In addition to sometimes being surprised that God actually hears and answers us, I think we can also fall into the trap of letting our little faith prevent us from ever even asking for what we consider to be impossible. Whether it's for the conversion or healing of someone we love, or something as small as God sending us the song we need while using our iPod on a run, we don't ask for things because we don't really believe that God could do that.
Lately, I've been trying to expand my faith and trust that "with God, all things are possible." I've been praying for what others may declare to be impossible, knowing that God might have a different way to answer my prayer than I expect, but placing my desire for these miracles in His hands anyway. Regardless of the outcome, I can already see that praying in this way is increasing my faith and God has already responded to these prayers in some big ways, more than just maneuvering traffic so I get to Mass on time. I invite you to do the same, right now. Ask God for something that you consider out of His hands, or too big for Him. And then be at peace, knowing that He will answer your prayer in the way (and time) that He knows is best.
It's funny because just earlier that day I was reading the daily Gospel and marveling at the disbelief of Jesus' apostles. The Gospel was Matthew 8:23-27, where Jesus calms the storm at sea. The apostles wake Him in the midst of the storm: "Lord, save us! We are perishing!" And then, just a few verses later, after Jesus has done what they asked, they are "amazed" and say: "What sort of man is this, whom even the winds and the sea obey?" Um... hello apostles... you're the ones who woke Jesus and asked Him to save you... why are you so surprised that He was able to do what you asked?
I think that sometimes we are like the apostles. We ask God for something in prayer and then, when He does just what we asked, we are confused. How did He do that? We, like the apostles, have "little faith." We pray, but we don't actually believe that God hears us or will actually respond. But if God truly loves us as His children... why wouldn't He? And if God is really all-powerful, why do we doubt His ability to intervene?
In addition to sometimes being surprised that God actually hears and answers us, I think we can also fall into the trap of letting our little faith prevent us from ever even asking for what we consider to be impossible. Whether it's for the conversion or healing of someone we love, or something as small as God sending us the song we need while using our iPod on a run, we don't ask for things because we don't really believe that God could do that.
Lately, I've been trying to expand my faith and trust that "with God, all things are possible." I've been praying for what others may declare to be impossible, knowing that God might have a different way to answer my prayer than I expect, but placing my desire for these miracles in His hands anyway. Regardless of the outcome, I can already see that praying in this way is increasing my faith and God has already responded to these prayers in some big ways, more than just maneuvering traffic so I get to Mass on time. I invite you to do the same, right now. Ask God for something that you consider out of His hands, or too big for Him. And then be at peace, knowing that He will answer your prayer in the way (and time) that He knows is best.
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