It's been a while since I've written on this blog. There's a few factors contributing to that. Part of it was not knowing what to share now that my missionary days are over, Part was just not having time in the midst of starting my teaching and coaching career. But I think another part of it was needing to first figure out what exactly God is doing in my life right now.
Transitions have never been easy for me, and even one as exciting as being engaged, moving home to Fargo, and beginning my dream job of teaching and coaching at a Catholic school, has been a little difficult. Most of that is my fault. Instead of letting myself be happy, I gave in to stress over the silliest things. Most of it was self-inflicted, unrealistic expectations for myself. Some of it was also because I failed to make room for God each day. Prayer the past two months has been something to check off my daily list, rather than much-needed time with the Creator of my heart. Thankfully, that's all changing now.
Everything begin to fall into place about two weeks ago. After another stressed out moment talking to Devin, he looked me in the eyes and said that the solution to my stress was very simple. Just take a deep breath and say "be happy" and smile. At first it seemed so silly, I mean there is just too much going on... how could just telling myself to "be happy" actually help? Despite my doubt, I decided to try it. After all, Devin is one of the happiest, most patient people I know. If this is what he does then maybe it will work. And it did!
The facts of my life have not changed: I still am a first year teacher, coaching volleyball, and planning a wedding. But now I'm starting to see all of these roles as blessings rather than stressors. I am a first year teacher - teaching math to 85 incredible 7th graders. I get to pray with them every day, along with being a math nerd. I am a volleyball coach - and I love being on the court and encouraging my team. I am planning a wedding - to the man I am convinced was put on this earth to get me to Heaven. It's pretty hard not to smile and just thank God constantly when I put on the "be happy" lens to my life.
As these blessings began to be more apparent, I also realized that God deserves more time in my life, even if I'm no longer a missionary. Tomorrow, I renew my consecration to Mary. With that, I'm also making a new, fresh commitment to my spiritual life. I won't share all the details here, but let's just say my 15 minutes of prayer will be stretched to more and Scripture and the rosary are back in my day - everyday. I'm done using being "busy" as an excuse not to become holy. I can't live out my Vocation to marriage and vocation to teaching without Jesus' help. And He is right there waiting for me..... every minute of every day.
To those of you who feel overwhelmed by what God is asking of you... take a deep breath... be happy... and smile.
