Weakness is Strength

Wow, this has been a crazy week. Here's a snapshot of what life was like for this FOCUS missionary:

Monday: Holy hour, time with the team, mentorship with the wonderful Kelsey Kaufman, freshmen bible study, athletes bible study, movie night at home

Tuesday: Holy hour, time with the team, lunch with a student I met during outreach, Mass, Old Chicago outting with some new Duluth friends

Wednesday: Holy hour, errands, Mass, time on campus, discipleship with Kelly, dinner with Nicole (a student in my athlete's study who went on the retreat), and opening night of RCIA

Thursday: Holy hour, team time, lunch with my discipleship chain, time on campus, DQ and a walk by the lake with Teia (a bible study member), Mass & Meal (plus birth of my teammates Andy and Laura's son Gabriel!), bowling with retreat group

Friday: Holy hour, discipleship with Shannon, Mass, run, go meet baby Gabriel, catch up with Britni (a former disciple at NDSU), go to Abby Johnson's pro-life talk with Kayla (a bible study member), and outting with the team

Saturday: Holy hour, lunch with a student I met last week, laundry, speedball, UMD volleyball victory over Mankato, Bison football victory @ UNI

As we say in North Dakota, oofda! But typing those lists I realized the common theme: beginning each day with prayer. Towards the end of the week, I was getting tired and it was so hard to get out of bed and get going for the day. But, God gave me all sorts of little graces throughout the week to help remind me of why I do get out of bed each morning: for Him! I'm so thankful that my life as a missionary gets to be rooted in prayer and that each day begins with an hour of just spending time with Jesus in the Holy Eucharist.

God really used this week to show me how much I need Him and how much He is willing to help me. I think one of the biggest lessons I have learned so far this year has been that sometimes God sends us trials because He wants us to have opportunities to truly trust Him and realize that we really can't do anything on our own. Without His help this week, it would have been so easy to just give up when I was tired and hide out at home. But instead, God gave me the little signs I needed to know that He wants me at UMD and that He wants me on campus to share Him with the students here.

It was those times when I felt the weakest that God brought forth some amazing conversations and experiences. I think 2 Corinthians 12:10 makes a lot more sense to me now. When we are weak, then we really are strong. Because it is then that we can truly let Jesus take over. And He is definitely stronger than any of us ever could be.

with my disciples Kelly and Shannon after Holy hour on Thursday

Another kind of beauty

What an amazing weekend. This weekend was the First Timers' Retreat for us here in Duluth. 30 students plus about a dozen "staff" spent the weekend at a "luxurious cabin on Gull Lake" and were given an amazing opportunity to encounter Jesus Christ and make Him the center of their lives. It was a truly beautiful and humbling experience to be on this retreat with students who desired to spend a weekend getting to know Jesus more deeply, or maybe even for the first time. I'm not going to give all the details of the retreat, but here's some thoughts.

the trees of Bagley near UMD

I witnessed a lot of beauty in nature this weekend. Saturday morning, as we jumped in the lake, the water was so calm. A few hours later, it was sparkling. This morning, I saw the sunrise for the first time in a while. It rose bright and strong as we drove east back to Duluth. And then as I walked over to Mass on campus, the trees were a bright canvas of colors; fall is so beautiful here.

But there was another kind of beauty this weekend. The beauty of students on retreat encountering Jesus Christ and confronting the truth about how they have been living. The grace that poured out in the Chapel during Adoration and Confessions last night, evident through the reverence of everyone there and some heartfelt praise and worship music. The joy of just spending time together in such solid community. Everyone was having so much fun, free from the social pressures of the college party scene or other temptations. It was so wonderful to see these students just enjoy their weekend, while also learning more about what it means to have a relationship with Jesus Christ.

I went on the retreat to help, but ended up taking a lot away for myself as well. I'm so thankful that God reminded me of the core of everything I do, as a missionary and in everything in my life, and that core is.... a relationship with Him. Sometimes it is so easy to forget that basic fact, that even though I've done nothing to deserve it, God created me to know and love Him. And not only that, but that He desires to give me more love than I even know what to do with at times. And that's the message I need to share with the women I meet on campus, as well as all those already in my life. That God loves us, no matter what! And there is nothing we can do that is too big for Him to forgive. He wants us to be His, and He will fight for us, if only we let Him. When we understand that, then our lives also become beautiful... a beautiful witness to His unconditional love.

To get tickets...

So anyone who knows me would probably tell you I'm a huge Bison football fan (see picture below). I missed only one home game last season and flew down to Texas to watch them take on Sam Houston State for the D1 Championship. This season has been a little rough, considering my FOCUS commitment has relocated me to Duluth, MN - not exactly within walking distance of the FargoDome as my former apartment was. But, I have been faithfully wearing yellow each Saturday, have found out how to watch or listen to games online, and have secured some football posters for my bedroom wall. After all, Once a Bison, Always a Bison.

at a Bison playoff game last winter

Last night, while walking to my athlete's bible study, I walked past a large line of camps. These camps weren't out in one of Duluth's many parks or along the North Shore, no they were along the hall leading to the Sports and Health Center on campus. Students were spending the night there, complete with their TVs, gaming systems, homework, Dominoes pizza, and other snacks and entertainment. All to be there at 8am this morning. Why? Student season hockey tickets of course!

My first thought when I saw this was: That's so ridiculous! They are spending all night for hockey tickets?!? But then I thought some more, and realized: That would have been me! Had NDSU sold season football tickets for the student section, there is not a doubt in my mind that I would have found myself with my friends in line all night as well. Maybe they aren't so crazy... or maybe I'm just crazy too.

I then started to think about the fact that each Sunday, Jesus Christ Himself is present on the campus of UMD. Two times each Sunday, He is there, offering His very Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity to these students. Why is there not a line leading upstairs to the Ballroom and Rafters, of students camped out to receive Jesus come Sunday morning? Hmm.

Now, just to clarify, I'm not saying that having a sports team you follow is bad. But, we do need to be careful that these teams don't get higher priority in our life than our relationship with God. As with anything in this life, it's all about finding that balance.

Back to the lack of a line on Saturday nights. Maybe the reason there isn't one is because these students just do not know. They do not realize the amazing gift being offered them in the Eucharist. And if that is so, then those of us who do know should probably tell them. And that's what we want to do as FOCUS missionaries and student missionaries. We want others to understand this gift and be willing to spend all night waiting just for a chance to receive our Lord in the Eucharist. It's a big task, but one I'm sure God will help us to accomplish. After all, our desire for Him comes from Him in the first place.

That's a good book...

This was a crazy, wonderful week. Getting both bible studies started, spending time with my team on-campus and off, and staying at Newman after Thursday's Mass & Meal for pizza, Icee's, and NFL football. Needless to say, come Friday morning I was pretty tired and 8am Holy Hour was more of a fight to stay alert and awake than it should be. So, when 9am came and it was time for discipleship with Shannon the suggestion for where to go was pretty simple: Caribou Coffee. 

After getting our coffee, finding a table in the crowded Canal Park Caribou, and chatting about life, we spent some time in prayer. This year, we are striving to include prayer with Scripture in every discipleship. More on that a little later.

We finish the meditation on Jesus' agony in the garden before His Passion, and I set my Bible on the table as we discuss how this story applies to our lives as young women striving to love Jesus and share Him with those around us. As we're talking, I notice an older woman nearby waiting for her coffee (my own has made me more alert by this point) and clearly listening to our conversation. A few minutes later she stops at our table, points at my Bible and simply says "That's a good book." I agree and she walks away, coffee in hand.

This is why I love having discipleship at public locations; you just never know the witness you get to be. I remember back at NDSU, my friend Brittany and I once had our discipleship on-campus interrupted by a man who wanted to talk about faith and God. It's moments like these that I am reminded that FOCUS is such a good thing.

Back to Scripture, prayer, and discipleship. A couple years ago at NDSU, we began to include Lectio Divina (prayer with Scripture) as a part of discipleship. The idea was that if our goal is to help college students have a relationship with Jesus Christ, then what better way than praying with them and helping them learn how to pray? This idea has spread throughout FOCUS nationwide and was emphasized at our summer training in June.

Here at UMD, our team director Andy and the rest of our team completely agree. Last night at our gathering with the student missionaries (students currently in discipleship and leading bible studies), Andy explained this vision. Prayer is the best thing we can teach others to do, because it is the way we come to know Jesus and to love Him. As mine and Shannon's Caribou friend said, it really is a "good book".

So, as I finish up this blog and move on to my Saturday to do list, I leave us all with a challenge. When was the last time you picked up the "good book" and spent some time learning more about who Jesus is and the love He has for each one of us? Is reading and praying with Scripture a part of your life? Even if you've read every page, I encourage you to go back and read the story of God's love again. I promise, it never gets old.

Diving In

Well..... thanks to some encouragement from wonderful friends, here I am, with a blog. If you're reading this, welcome to my life as a FOCUS missionary. Maybe sometime later I'll put my story up. For now, I just wanted to share some highlights of my first four weeks on-campus.

Highlight 1: Getting to be a part of the lives of young people who really love Jesus. The students here at UMD (University of Minnesota Duluth) and CSS (College of St. Scholastica) are truly inspiring. This morning, about 15 of them showed up at 8am for morning prayer and we almost filled our small chapel for Mass this evening. Not to mention how determined our student missionaries are to call their peers and start up bible studies on-campus this week. We will have over 20 bible studies on-campus this year!

Highlight 2: Hanging out with my team. We have a great group of 7 missionaries here in Duluth. And within a few weeks we've already had a several adventures, like driving up to Gooseberry Falls for the day (see picture), watching all 3 Batman movies in 24 hours, and taking students camping at the lake for a weekend.

our team on the shore of Lake Superior

Highlight 3: Learning some new life skills. My confidence in my parallel parking skills has boomed. I've also discovered how to go for runs with massive hills to go up and down (Fargo really was that flat!) Additionally, I've discovered ways to transform a room of white walls into a super wonderful looking bedroom (just waiting for some Bison football posters to finish it off!) I am slowly figuring out how to use our gas stove without setting fire alarms off due to smoke. Stay tuned on that one.

Highlight 4: Meeting new students! I've met some great women and am looking forward to starting 2 bible studies this semester - with one geared for our Bulldog athletes. I've already gotten to attend a volleyball and soccer game (picture included) and can't wait to get some UMD gear to be a big athletic fan. I'm also excited for a bible study for freshmen women - we had our first meeting tonight and it's going to be really wonderful getting to know them.

with Sarah, Nicole, and Catie at Sunday's soccer game

Highlight 5: The amazing support I've received from family and friends as I embark on this adventure. It is so awesome to know that those I love are behind me and believe in what I'm doing.

Well, I can't think of much else for now. But feel free to follow me by using the provided email sign-up or through your own blog account. I can't wait to share more about what God is doing on campus and in my life as well.  St. Therese of Lisieux, Pray for us!