After two months of not blogging, I realized I truly do have some graces to share with my blog followers. The past couple months have been busy... finishing up my mission in Duluth, saying goodbye and filling boxes for the move, settling in to my new place in Fargo, teaching summer school, and wedding planning. Now that my summer has truly started, it's incredible what God is revealing to me about the purpose of this transition in my life.
Everything I have learned in prayer and through life recently can be summed up in: I don't need a job in FOCUS to be a saint. For the past 6 years, my life as a student missionary and then campus missionary were how I lived out my call to holiness. I learned a lot through the mentors, friends, teammates, and students I spent time with. My schedule, especially the past two years, was structured around a daily holy hour and mass. Part of my fears in leaving FOCUS were not knowing what my prayer and apostolate would look like without that structure. But the truth is, that time was training ground for this... the rest of my life.
So what has being launched been like?
Well, after a few weeks of struggling to find the balance, I finally am back to making time for Jesus everyday. It's not quite as structured, but the past few days I have been blessed to spend time in Adoration... just talking to Jesus about the woman He is calling me to be. Not the missionary, or team director, or teacher He wants me to be... just who He wants me to be. What does He want me to focus on now? What purpose does this summer without a job have?
Virtue. Pursuing virtue. Not because of my "job", but because I'm called to be a saint. The job I have doesn't define me or give me worth (which is good, as I'm unemployed until August). Rather, my worth comes from being God's daughter. And that is what He wants me to be this summer. It's refreshing to have the simplicity of truly taking it all one day at a time.
So what is my plan for the next two months? Well, I'm going to plan my days around Adoration and Mass. Spend time getting ready to teach seventh grade math this upcoming school year. Do some continuing education. Spend time with my family. And prepare to marry my best friend in just six months. Most importantly, I'm just going to live... right here, in these days that God has given me to learn that my holiness isn't dependent on my job, but rather on the choices I make each moment, for or against His plan for my life.
