Thanksgiving and St. Cecelia

A year ago today, I found myself at the NDSU Wellness Center for a morning run.... with a dead iPod. Since music was no longer an option to motivate me for my run, I decided to use that time to pray. I found myself talking to Jesus about FOCUS. At the time, I had not started the application to be a missionary. As I ran, more and more of my fears came to light. Afterwards, I went to pray at the Newman Center and began to realize that I really needed to just start my application and trust God with the rest. I began the application later that day and as I filled it out, God slowly opened my heart to be able to desire for FOCUS to be the next chapter of my life. And so here I am, one year later, several months into my first year as a full-time missionary!

St. Cecelia, pray for us!

It's incredible that this big step towards FOCUS took place on November 22, the Feast of St. Cecelia (the saint I chose as my Confirmation saint). It is amazing how that choice as an eighth grader continues to play a role in my life. And now to have that day fall on Thanksgiving... the day when we thank God for the many blessings He has given us. God must love making dates line up like this!

And so not only am I thankful as always for my faith, family, and friends. But I'm also really thankful for all of the graces that God has blessed me with through FOCUS... the new friends, support of mission partners here at home, and a truly amazing experience that is slowly helping me become closer to Jesus and His will for my life.

So, if you're reading this, thank you for allowing me to share my experience as a FOCUS missionary with you! Thank you for your support and prayers. And I hope you have a most blessed Thanksgiving with your family and friends.

Fan into Flame and more

Well, another eventful week has passed for this FOCUS missionary. I don't even know where to begin with sharing about this past week... but I will try to do my best. Here are my top 5 events from the week:

bible study @ Caribou

#5: On Monday, my original five from my freshman bible study and I celebrated the first snowfall of the year here in Duluth by spending the afternoon at Caribou Coffee. It was fun to build fellowship with these great girls. I also found out that the holiday drinks are officially available.... mmmm HoHo Mint Mocha... 

my discipleship chain November 2012

#4: On Wednesday, I made chicken enchiladas for the four women in my discipleship chain. We spent almost 2 hours squeezed around my kitchen table getting to know one another better and laughing lots. They are all so fantastic and I'm honored that they are in my chain here at UMD.

#3: Also on Monday, all seven girls made it to our freshman bible study. Topic of the night: the Eucharist. We read and discussed John 6, where Jesus explains that He is the Bread of Life. We had a really great discussion and I could just tell that everyone was thinking deeply about the role that the Eucharist has in their lives and how it could become even more important through the Mass and Adoration.

Fan into Flame group

#2: Due to Monday's discussion, two of the girls in my bible study and I went to Adoration at a local Church Friday afternoon. We were only there for 30 minutes, but as we left, a woman there turned around and told us, "You give me hope for the world." Wow. Then today, I got a text from one of the girls thanking me for taking her because she had never been to Adoration before and really loved it.

#1: Fan Into Flame!! This weekend, we had our second retreat of the year at the cabin in Brainerd. Over 50 students attended, including several girls that I have gotten to know really well this year. The theme of the retreat was allowing Jesus to be the Lord of your life and to tap into the power of the Holy Spirit which Jesus promises to all those who believe in Him. We had some great talks, fellowship, and time for prayer. It was incredible to see these students be deeply moved during Adoration last night. It was also a great opportunity for me to grow, realizing what it means to allow God to work through me as I prayed over people along with my teammate Nicole.

Sharing these five things and realizing how great they were this past week just made it really clear to me how important having strong Catholic community is. How important it is to surround ourselves with others who are running after Christ, so that they can help us in our own journey to Him. It is such a blessing to serve as a missionary, where I get to have these wonderful friendships as a part of my "job".

Also, just a little insight into my retreat (because even though I was a leader, I also was on retreat). I realized in a very profound way how much God loves me and that He is more than enough, He is all I need. He is the One who truly makes me come alive, and He wants me to have the life I was made for... and I was made for more, I was made for love. What a perfect time to realize this, so that I can spend this week thanking Him for that love... and the many other blessings of my life. 

Vocation Preparation

It is so crazy how fast the year has gone so far. With each day, I learn more and more about myself, my relationship with Jesus, and how to best love Him and help those in my life do the same. I also am realizing all the ways I am growing through my life as a missionary with FOCUS. It is so beautiful how God is using this experience to draw me closer to Himself and help me become, as Matthew Kelly says, the "best version of myself."

In a particular way, I'm realizing how this time is really helping me prepare for my vocation. Through much prayer, I have deep peace with trusting God that He desires for me to become a saint through the vocation of marriage someday. So how is saying yes to FOCUS, which includes a fast from dating for the first year, helping me in my vocation? Well, here is what I've discovered so far....

1. I'm learning how to be dependent on Jesus to provide me with happiness, not other people. This is still a work in progress, but it has improved a lot. Today was a perfect example: I was not in the best of moods, so I went to the Adoration chapel for a couple hours. I left with a deep peace - thanks Jesus! A great priest once pointed out that no person is perfect, my spouse someday will be human, and therefore will have some flaws. But, if I can lean on my relationship with Christ first, then His perfect love will fill what my husband's can't.

2. I'm learning how to give of my time in a very real way. Some days I go from one activity to the next, without a second to myself. Helping the wonderful students of UMD on their path to holiness, helping my teammates, and doing daily duties like cooking and cleaning. Yesterday, I went almost non-stop from 9am to 11pm! One day, I called my mom quick. She was busy, as usual, cooking for the volleyball team, planning something for my sister's birthday, and just being mom. I realized how learning to give of my time for this mission now will help me be able to do so for my mission as a mom someday. That's pretty awesome.

3. I'm learning all sorts of great ways to have fun doing things that aren't always fun. For example, how to improvise with cooking, brainstorm fun craft ideas (thanks Pinterest), provide snacks for my bible studies (future kids' birthday treats?), grocery shop efficiently, etc etc. Yesterday, I put on some music to speed along folding laundry and cleaning my room. The time flew by!


4. I'm learning a lot about what makes me, me! What brings me joy, sadness, peace, fear. The more I learn about myself, both my strengths and weaknesses, the more I can learn how to best become a saint. That is a good life lesson regardless and it comes from "putting out into the deep" and not being afraid to try new things (like not living in Fargo!)

my recent crafty project!

I'm sure God has much more to teach me this year. And I'm so excited to learn it! I hope that when that wonderful husband eventually comes into my life, I will be able to make a much longer list of ways that God prepared me and helped me be ready for that vocation He planned for me. Until then, I'm not just gonna sit around waiting, I'm going to do my best to actively prepare for that vocation.

Becoming Prayer Warriors

A little over a month ago, I received an email from a missionary at Benedictine College in Kansas. Their students had proposed a "Fast for Freedom", inviting college students and missionaries across the country to fast and pray in the month before today's election. So, along with my teammates Nicole and Rosalin, I joined in this fast: a personal fast from chocolate.

Growing up Catholic, I am used to giving up things for Lent (which is 40 days) so I didn't think 31 days would be all that bad. Wow was I wrong! Saying no to chocolate was super hard, but I did so in the hopes that my sacrifice would help our country make some good choices today. That is a great thing about Catholicism, the idea of "offering it up" as a way of uniting our sacrifices to that of Jesus.

The students here at UMD also saw the need to pray and fast. From 7pm last night until today's 5:30pm Mass, we had an (almost) 24 hour prayer vigil at Newman, with ongoing Adoration. What a beautiful witness to see these students give up precious time to spend an hour with our Lord and ask Him to watch over our country, and especially the protection of marriage here in Minnesota. Many of them also chose a fast today. Two girls actually endured headaches due to their sacrifice of coffee. What an awesome sacrifice!

As I sat in the Chapel waiting for Mass to begin tonight, I could feel the power of all these prayers and sacrifices. There was this feeling of prayerful expectation, just doing all we could after casting our own votes: praying and waiting. Because we believe in a God who listens to our prayers and answers them. And we should never doubt the power of those prayers.

I don't know how the election will turn out. And I'm writing this post before I do because either way, I believe that the young people of today's Church are truly discovering the power of their faith. And that they will be vigilant prayer warriors to ensure that their right to worship God is always protected. Regardless of tonight's results, this election and the threats that the faithful of the Church face have only made us stronger. Jesus Himself said, "take courage, I have conquered the world." (John 16:33) And so, we keep fighting, recognizing that the One we follow into this battle has assured us of our victory, provided we fight for Him.