As someone who grew up Catholic, I've attended thousands of Masses in my 24 1/2 years of life. I've even been to Mass in other countries and languages. Since my freshman year of college, I've been a pretty faithful daily mass goer, with my current role as a full-time missionary easily allowing time for this every day. Yet, it was yesterday at Mass that it all became very real.
I think one of the potential pitfalls of loving to read about the Catholic faith is that it can sometimes seem too good to be true, like a really good story.... and end there. I've read the Bible, the Catechism, and countless books about the saints, evangelization, Church teaching, and sacraments. Even a few books on the Mass. But I think when I read about how the Mass is Heaven on Earth, or how it is our participation in the worship God receives from saints and angels in Heaven, I thought: "well that's real nice." I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this either... I've met students and talked to people whose experience of Mass just isn't what these books made it out to be. And so I thought "hm... if only this were true."
Now, I'm not saying I've never had a good experience at Mass or that God has never given me any grace from Mass. But, this Sunday everything felt real in a way I can't remember ever experiencing before. As I heard the first reading proclaimed, I truly felt part of a family, a group of believers, coming together to listen to God's word - not just be talked at. I was filled with an awe of the Eucharist that I have sometimes experienced, but was combined with deep gratitude and a feeling of unworthiness to receive Jesus' Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity into my own body. And overall, a deep joy flooded my heart. All that I have read is actually true and I don't need to think "if only..."!
Not only has my appreciation and understanding of the reality of the Mass been radically transformed by yesterday morning, but so has my approach to reading about the faith. As I read my current book (Evangelical Catholicism - George Weigel) while on the elliptical today, I realized that he is talking about a real Church, with real people, and a real mission. No longer is reading simply reading, it's a deepening of my understanding of reality. My faith in Jesus is real, and it makes a difference. The Catholic faith that I believe is real - and not just for me, but for the world. It is the truth, not a truth, and one that the world desperately needs. Rather than approaching mission as sharing how Jesus has transformed my life (which I will still do), I feel like now I can more fully share with people that Jesus can and will transform their life for the better as well.
To those of you reading this, I encourage you to ask God for the grace to see your faith in Him in a real and tangible way this week. Maybe it will be through the beauty of creation or through the love of another person. Maybe it will be experiencing the Mass or Confession as the instruments of God's grace that they are. I pray that you will be able to know the reality of God's love for you - and live your life in a way that invites others to know His love for them.
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