It has been seven months now since my mission trip to Guyana last summer. In some ways, I had been assuming that I had realized all the fruits of those two weeks on mission. Yet, all that changed this past Wednesday as we as a Church began Lent 2014.
I like food. And snacking. And my daily coffee. So you can imagine that fasting isn't exactly something I approach with a smile. I fully understand the point - letting ourselves hurt a little physically and participate in Jesus' sufferings - but it's just hard! It seems that the days I fast are the days my body wants food and coffee most! So I woke up Wednesday thinking, alright... here we go... just gotta make it til bedtime. or midnight.
On Ash Wednesday, Catholics abstain from meat and take part in a fast of no snacking and significantly smaller meals. So, I went about my day with minimal food, no snacks, and no coffee (that last part is all Lent... 40 days with no coffee...). Yet, as the day went on, I realized something amazing... I was still functioning and even smiling! Most of the day, I didn't even notice that I was eating significantly less than a typical day. What changed?!?
My heart. That's what. And my ability to be outside my comfort zone physically. I know this is from Guyana. In Guyana, I was drastically outside my comfort zone. The hot, humid climate. No communication with home. Cold, quick showers. Sleeping under a mosquito net, constantly applying sunscreen and bug spray. Long days, lots of walking. Throughout the trip, I struggled to move past the physical discomforts and embrace them for the mission. I was frustrated with myself for being stuck on all this, rather than loving and embracing it all as a sacrifice. Even in the days and weeks following my return to AC, hot showers, and American food, I still wondered why I had been so distracted by the physical discomfort of being on mission. Now, I get it.
It has taken all of these seven months, but now I'm able to see that God used those two weeks of extreme physical discomfort to show me that those things don't matter, and that I need to let go. In reflecting more, I realized that I rarely take long showers anymore, and I don't snack much either. Ash Wednesday was easier because in a sense, it was nothing compared to my mission trip. Especially our travel there, running on about 2 hours of sleep in 48 hours. I hope that particular hardship starts helping me survive without coffee soon... or this might be a bit of a tired Lent.
I'm no longer frustrated about the "distraction" of physical discomfort I experienced throughout my time in Guyana. I see now that it was a lifelong lesson God wanted to teach me, and I'm very thankful that now I can be a better witness to the beauty of fasting for Him. The delayed realization of this grace has also revealed that I should never assume that God is done teaching me lessons from any experience... He loves to surprise me.
May you all have a most blessed Lent!
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