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Tuesday, October 1, 2013

God is Big

God is doing big things. Well, He always is.... but now that we are a little ways into the school year, it's crystal clear to me. God is doing big things, on-campus and also in my heart. Some days, I get really caught up in the tasks, meetings, and responsibilities of my day. And then I sit back, and I look at my life, my mission, and I just am in awe.

What big things is God doing you might ask. Well, let's start with campus. Here at UMD, we have 35 bible studies on-campus. 35 Catholic bible studies. And they aren't just led by myself and my teammates, 26 of them are led by students, amazing student missionaries who have such a heart for Jesus and His Church that they're willing to invest some of their precious time and energy into spreading His love to their peers. And these aren't just small groups either. My own bible studies have grown so much: my athlete's study doubling in size to 8 and my other group growing to a dozen. As I sat down with each of the student missionaries in my discipleship chain at the start of the semester, they so impressed me. 10 women. That's the common goal for pretty much each of these 5 leaders. That would by 70 women in bible study just in my "chain of command" alone. God is doing big things. He's taking this campus over by planting a desire to encounter Him and share Him in many students' hearts.
my bible study last Thursday
As if blessing my mission at UMD wasn't enough, God is doing big things in my life. Each day, He asks me to let Him love me in new and incredible ways, through my team, family, friends, and boyfriend. He calls me to love others for Him, to just pour myself out in ways I never thought possible. Sometimes it feels like so much, but then He blesses me with a great conversation, a needed cup of coffee, a gorgeous fall day, whatever. He always knows just what I need and can time it so perfectly that I can keep letting His light shine through me. I am learning that the more I let God love me and fill me, the larger my capacity for loving Him and others becomes. My heart literally expands. 

I have wanted to be a saint all my life, wanting to get to Heaven. I always kind of thought I knew what that might look like. What I never thought about until now was how big God's plan for my holiness really is. For example, He doesn't just want me to be a saint. He really desires for me to be a saint. So every time I start to get even the slightest bit content with where my life and virtue is at, He instantly shakes me out of it and begins to give me new opportunities to grow. Not because He doesn't want me to be happy, but because He desperately wants me to experience the deep joy that comes from pursuing the path of holiness He has laid out uniquely for me!

Back when I was a student missionary, one of our missionaries at NDSU used to ask us: "How big is your God?" What Amanda meant was, when you pray, do you pray with confidence in an all-powerful God, or do you shrink your request because you don't actually expect much in answer to your prayer? Well, I'm seeing this year that I need to start praying even bigger. Because God is big... bigger and more powerful than I ever really grasped (and probably still don't). So as we continue reaching out, building up bible studies, investing in students, planning for our first ever bulldogCatholic week, preparing for retreats and conferences, I'm going to start encouraging my team and student missionaries to really pray big. And not just for these different aspects of our mission on-campus, but in our personal paths of holiness too. To pray that God would make us bigger saints than we might even dare to dream of being.

Happy feast of St. Therese of Liseux, patroness of missionaries!

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