Alright, well I just had a super good impromptu chat with the wonderful Katie and just have some thoughts I need to share. It's kind of an appropriate topic with Valentine's day coming up, as well as nearing the end of my dating fast. Our society often treats being single like it is some sort of illness. Once you hit college, if you don't find that boyfriend... well, something must be wrong with you! That is just so not true.
I have been single for almost four years now and will definitely admit that at times it has been hard and the question of "is there something wrong with me?" has crossed my mind. Not to mention that every time I sign into Facebook, my news feed is full of engagement rings and ultrasound photos from all my friends (I'm super excited for you all..... please don't think otherwise). As a first year missionary, I'm asked to be on a dating fast for this first year on FOCUS staff. Oh boy.
So Katie and I are sitting here on campus, just chatting about life and relationships come up. She tells me that she is just finishing a 3-month dating fast... wow. I'm seriously impressed because as a sophomore in college that would not have been something I would have chosen for myself. But it was so great to share graces from each of our fasts. Both of us have been able to recognize the beauty of truly surrendering that desire for marriage to God, and letting Him have it. For me, it also is helping me learn to be fully dependent on Jesus, after all, only He gives the love that truly satisfies my heart.
One of the best things that Katie said was that she know's she is worth waiting for. And that is something I have realized too: I'm worth it. Worth waiting for, worth being pursued, worth being fought for. And I also know that my future spouse is worth it. Worth waiting for, worth letting him pursue me, worth letting him fight for me. And also worth the ache that sometimes accompanies not having my Vocation just yet.
As women, we sometimes settle because we don't want to be alone or don't know if we'll find someone who "meets our standards" or because we get impatient. But the purpose of dating is to discern if that person is your future spouse, not just to have someone to boost your self-esteem or make sure you have plans Friday night. And this time of preparation (and waiting) will make me so much more appreciative of that awesome guy I know God has planned for me.
On a final note, Katie shared something I thought was really awesome. She said sometimes we give things to God just to pick them back up later, rather than just leave them in His hands. I know that even though right now I feel awesome about the dating fast and being single, there might come a time when it is hard. I hope that God is able to give me the grace to just continue to leave it in His hands, trusting that when the time is right, He will give me an amazing relationship I could never even imagine on my own.
Special thanks to Katie for a chat which pretty much made my day!
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