Living in Duluth and being a FOCUS missionary has provided me with opportunities for many firsts - and many amazing friends. Last night was a prime example.
Instead of our usual one hour bible study, four ladies from my athletes bible study and I decided to brave Duluth's April snow storm and go to the movie "God's Not Dead." It was so worth it! The movie is inspired by college students who have fought for the right to practice and profess their faith on campus - and tells the story of a college freshman who refuses to sign his name to the statement "God is dead" in an introductory philosophy course taught by an atheist professor. What ensues is a challenge to convince the rest of his class to also believe that "God is Not Dead". I'm pretty sure all five of us walked away encouraged to boldly live our faith in Jesus too.
(for more watch the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Z7f5-jZlzs)
After the movie, we proceeded back up to campus, with Monica driving. For those of you who know Duluth, you probably know that even the littlest snow can make 21st Ave pretty icy. Well, about 2 blocks up, Monica's car decided that it couldn't make it any further on its own. Rather than go back down and find an alternative route, Maddie, Jenna, Allison, and I pile out of the car and push uphill. It was so encouraging to just experience the joy of working together and achieving a goal. No one complained, no one was discouraged. We all just knew that a little teamwork would get the car rolling. Sure enough, we pushed the car up with ease, piled back in, and drove to campus.
These adventures, and the friends I get to have them with, are definitely a huge part of what I love about being a missionary here at UMD!!
Have a great Triduum everyone!
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
What Comes First.... Waiting is Worth it
For the past week and a half, my life has felt slightly like a dream. I'm still not entirely convinced I'm not dreaming. But then I look at my left hand.... and I know it's true.... I'm going to marry my best friend.
On April 5, Devin asked me to be his wife - and I said yes! I would have been crazy not to. Here is an amazing, virtuous, loving man who makes me a better person each and every day. This incredible man has stood by me through the ups and downs of the craziness of this year, learning how to be team director, going on mission to Guyana, and continuing to learn how to be a missionary. And now, there's actually a count on how many days are left before we become one in the sacrament of marriage. There is no doubt in my mind that marrying Devin will allow me to be a saint, help him to become one too, and raise kids to be disciples of Jesus.
What I have learned most in these 10 days of being engaged though is how worth it waiting is and how trusting God and His timing has been so good. Let me explain some priorities:
Love Jesus First, then Devin I used to wish and wish for my future spouse, but now I see how important it was that I learned to love and be loved by Jesus first. As amazing as Devin is, he can't always be here and there are still times I must rely on Jesus. Jesus also has taught me how to let myself be loved, which I know has helped me to open my heart to Devin in ways I never could have before. Plus, Jesus teaches me how to love Devin... and I want to love him the best that I can.
Friendship First, then Dating Devin and I met 3 1/2 years ago, but didn't start dating until last May. Waiting for God's perfect timing was so good - because we built an amazing friendship before God finally knocked some sense into us that we should probably date. This friendship has been the foundation of all the romance, and has made it that much better. I love being able to say that I'm going to marry my best friend.
Ring First, then Pinterest That's right. Despite my love of Pinterest, I haven't ever had a wedding board. And I'm so glad! Because now, Devin and I can plan OUR dream wedding rather than mine. I'm not saying it's bad to have a wedding board before your ring, but for me, it has made the excitement of wedding planning so much more because everything is new and can be planned for US. Although... I'm starting a board right after I publish this post, because let's be real... now I do have a wedding to plan!
Wedding First, then Marriage This one might take a little more explanation. My uncle, Fr. Austin, said at my cousin's wedding that if you aren't married, don't live like you are. Well, that's what Devin and I are doing. Although we know that soon we will be married, we are waiting until that day to act like we are. Put bluntly, we aren't living together or sleeping together til we say "I do". Not only do the facts show that 9 out of 10 couples who move in together don't make it in the long run, but we also know that it would be a lie to live in a way that isn't actually an accurate portrayal of the reality. We aren't married yet, so we aren't acting like it yet.
Finally, I just want to encourage anyone reading this post that God really does want you to be happy. I used to wonder... like if God really wanted me to be happy, where was this amazing man he supposedly has for me? Well the truth was, for a couple years of college he was right in the apartment above me.... but it wasn't time yet. God knew my true happiness could only take place if I would wait... and Devin would wait... and then when we were both ready, He could show us how to love Him through one another. God doesn't ask us to wait because He wants us to suffer, He wants us to wait so we can have fullness of joy, not just fleeting.
Please pray for Devin and I as we prepare for marriage!
 |
| the night we got engaged |
Monday, March 24, 2014
More Real than I Ever Realized
As someone who grew up Catholic, I've attended thousands of Masses in my 24 1/2 years of life. I've even been to Mass in other countries and languages. Since my freshman year of college, I've been a pretty faithful daily mass goer, with my current role as a full-time missionary easily allowing time for this every day. Yet, it was yesterday at Mass that it all became very real.
I think one of the potential pitfalls of loving to read about the Catholic faith is that it can sometimes seem too good to be true, like a really good story.... and end there. I've read the Bible, the Catechism, and countless books about the saints, evangelization, Church teaching, and sacraments. Even a few books on the Mass. But I think when I read about how the Mass is Heaven on Earth, or how it is our participation in the worship God receives from saints and angels in Heaven, I thought: "well that's real nice." I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this either... I've met students and talked to people whose experience of Mass just isn't what these books made it out to be. And so I thought "hm... if only this were true."
Now, I'm not saying I've never had a good experience at Mass or that God has never given me any grace from Mass. But, this Sunday everything felt real in a way I can't remember ever experiencing before. As I heard the first reading proclaimed, I truly felt part of a family, a group of believers, coming together to listen to God's word - not just be talked at. I was filled with an awe of the Eucharist that I have sometimes experienced, but was combined with deep gratitude and a feeling of unworthiness to receive Jesus' Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity into my own body. And overall, a deep joy flooded my heart. All that I have read is actually true and I don't need to think "if only..."!
Not only has my appreciation and understanding of the reality of the Mass been radically transformed by yesterday morning, but so has my approach to reading about the faith. As I read my current book (Evangelical Catholicism - George Weigel) while on the elliptical today, I realized that he is talking about a real Church, with real people, and a real mission. No longer is reading simply reading, it's a deepening of my understanding of reality. My faith in Jesus is real, and it makes a difference. The Catholic faith that I believe is real - and not just for me, but for the world. It is the truth, not a truth, and one that the world desperately needs. Rather than approaching mission as sharing how Jesus has transformed my life (which I will still do), I feel like now I can more fully share with people that Jesus can and will transform their life for the better as well.
To those of you reading this, I encourage you to ask God for the grace to see your faith in Him in a real and tangible way this week. Maybe it will be through the beauty of creation or through the love of another person. Maybe it will be experiencing the Mass or Confession as the instruments of God's grace that they are. I pray that you will be able to know the reality of God's love for you - and live your life in a way that invites others to know His love for them.
I think one of the potential pitfalls of loving to read about the Catholic faith is that it can sometimes seem too good to be true, like a really good story.... and end there. I've read the Bible, the Catechism, and countless books about the saints, evangelization, Church teaching, and sacraments. Even a few books on the Mass. But I think when I read about how the Mass is Heaven on Earth, or how it is our participation in the worship God receives from saints and angels in Heaven, I thought: "well that's real nice." I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this either... I've met students and talked to people whose experience of Mass just isn't what these books made it out to be. And so I thought "hm... if only this were true."
Now, I'm not saying I've never had a good experience at Mass or that God has never given me any grace from Mass. But, this Sunday everything felt real in a way I can't remember ever experiencing before. As I heard the first reading proclaimed, I truly felt part of a family, a group of believers, coming together to listen to God's word - not just be talked at. I was filled with an awe of the Eucharist that I have sometimes experienced, but was combined with deep gratitude and a feeling of unworthiness to receive Jesus' Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity into my own body. And overall, a deep joy flooded my heart. All that I have read is actually true and I don't need to think "if only..."!
Not only has my appreciation and understanding of the reality of the Mass been radically transformed by yesterday morning, but so has my approach to reading about the faith. As I read my current book (Evangelical Catholicism - George Weigel) while on the elliptical today, I realized that he is talking about a real Church, with real people, and a real mission. No longer is reading simply reading, it's a deepening of my understanding of reality. My faith in Jesus is real, and it makes a difference. The Catholic faith that I believe is real - and not just for me, but for the world. It is the truth, not a truth, and one that the world desperately needs. Rather than approaching mission as sharing how Jesus has transformed my life (which I will still do), I feel like now I can more fully share with people that Jesus can and will transform their life for the better as well.
To those of you reading this, I encourage you to ask God for the grace to see your faith in Him in a real and tangible way this week. Maybe it will be through the beauty of creation or through the love of another person. Maybe it will be experiencing the Mass or Confession as the instruments of God's grace that they are. I pray that you will be able to know the reality of God's love for you - and live your life in a way that invites others to know His love for them.
Saturday, March 8, 2014
How Guyana transformed my Ash Wednesday
It has been seven months now since my mission trip to Guyana last summer. In some ways, I had been assuming that I had realized all the fruits of those two weeks on mission. Yet, all that changed this past Wednesday as we as a Church began Lent 2014.
I like food. And snacking. And my daily coffee. So you can imagine that fasting isn't exactly something I approach with a smile. I fully understand the point - letting ourselves hurt a little physically and participate in Jesus' sufferings - but it's just hard! It seems that the days I fast are the days my body wants food and coffee most! So I woke up Wednesday thinking, alright... here we go... just gotta make it til bedtime. or midnight.
On Ash Wednesday, Catholics abstain from meat and take part in a fast of no snacking and significantly smaller meals. So, I went about my day with minimal food, no snacks, and no coffee (that last part is all Lent... 40 days with no coffee...). Yet, as the day went on, I realized something amazing... I was still functioning and even smiling! Most of the day, I didn't even notice that I was eating significantly less than a typical day. What changed?!?
My heart. That's what. And my ability to be outside my comfort zone physically. I know this is from Guyana. In Guyana, I was drastically outside my comfort zone. The hot, humid climate. No communication with home. Cold, quick showers. Sleeping under a mosquito net, constantly applying sunscreen and bug spray. Long days, lots of walking. Throughout the trip, I struggled to move past the physical discomforts and embrace them for the mission. I was frustrated with myself for being stuck on all this, rather than loving and embracing it all as a sacrifice. Even in the days and weeks following my return to AC, hot showers, and American food, I still wondered why I had been so distracted by the physical discomfort of being on mission. Now, I get it.
It has taken all of these seven months, but now I'm able to see that God used those two weeks of extreme physical discomfort to show me that those things don't matter, and that I need to let go. In reflecting more, I realized that I rarely take long showers anymore, and I don't snack much either. Ash Wednesday was easier because in a sense, it was nothing compared to my mission trip. Especially our travel there, running on about 2 hours of sleep in 48 hours. I hope that particular hardship starts helping me survive without coffee soon... or this might be a bit of a tired Lent.
I'm no longer frustrated about the "distraction" of physical discomfort I experienced throughout my time in Guyana. I see now that it was a lifelong lesson God wanted to teach me, and I'm very thankful that now I can be a better witness to the beauty of fasting for Him. The delayed realization of this grace has also revealed that I should never assume that God is done teaching me lessons from any experience... He loves to surprise me.
May you all have a most blessed Lent!
I like food. And snacking. And my daily coffee. So you can imagine that fasting isn't exactly something I approach with a smile. I fully understand the point - letting ourselves hurt a little physically and participate in Jesus' sufferings - but it's just hard! It seems that the days I fast are the days my body wants food and coffee most! So I woke up Wednesday thinking, alright... here we go... just gotta make it til bedtime. or midnight.
On Ash Wednesday, Catholics abstain from meat and take part in a fast of no snacking and significantly smaller meals. So, I went about my day with minimal food, no snacks, and no coffee (that last part is all Lent... 40 days with no coffee...). Yet, as the day went on, I realized something amazing... I was still functioning and even smiling! Most of the day, I didn't even notice that I was eating significantly less than a typical day. What changed?!?
My heart. That's what. And my ability to be outside my comfort zone physically. I know this is from Guyana. In Guyana, I was drastically outside my comfort zone. The hot, humid climate. No communication with home. Cold, quick showers. Sleeping under a mosquito net, constantly applying sunscreen and bug spray. Long days, lots of walking. Throughout the trip, I struggled to move past the physical discomforts and embrace them for the mission. I was frustrated with myself for being stuck on all this, rather than loving and embracing it all as a sacrifice. Even in the days and weeks following my return to AC, hot showers, and American food, I still wondered why I had been so distracted by the physical discomfort of being on mission. Now, I get it.
It has taken all of these seven months, but now I'm able to see that God used those two weeks of extreme physical discomfort to show me that those things don't matter, and that I need to let go. In reflecting more, I realized that I rarely take long showers anymore, and I don't snack much either. Ash Wednesday was easier because in a sense, it was nothing compared to my mission trip. Especially our travel there, running on about 2 hours of sleep in 48 hours. I hope that particular hardship starts helping me survive without coffee soon... or this might be a bit of a tired Lent.
I'm no longer frustrated about the "distraction" of physical discomfort I experienced throughout my time in Guyana. I see now that it was a lifelong lesson God wanted to teach me, and I'm very thankful that now I can be a better witness to the beauty of fasting for Him. The delayed realization of this grace has also revealed that I should never assume that God is done teaching me lessons from any experience... He loves to surprise me.
May you all have a most blessed Lent!
Monday, March 3, 2014
Joyful Minions
The title of this post might have you a little curious... but it's all about discipleship. Just read on, the minions will make sense soon.
Possibly the biggest role I have as a FOCUS missionary is to equip students to be student missionaries, inviting them into discipleship and building them up to be sent on mission while students, but ultimately for the rest of their lives on this earth. This semester, I am blessed to disciple five amazing women. This means that each week, I get to spend an hour with each of them, talking about how their prayer life is, setting goals, and discussing struggles and successes they have in reaching women in their lives and bible studies. It is another of my favorite parts of each week.
Community is important and I realized a couple weeks ago that even though I get to spend time each week with these five ladies, rarely do they all get to be together due to busy work, school, and bible study schedules. So I sent a doodle poll (best tool ever for scheduling) and found a time that worked. 9pm. Thursday. Alright let's do it. I confirmed with everyone and asked them to set aside that time last week, and bought Minion (Despicable Me) graham crackers..... not even knowing what would happen.
As my bible study finished and all the disciples arrived, we popped open the box of minions for a snack. As we did, we realize that there are six minions named on the box... and six of us. We quickly proceed to each choose a minion and then joke about which is which. I cannot put into words the incredible laughter and joy surrounding this... and all over minion crackers. We had some good time sharing our work as missionaries and getting to know one another.... but the lasting impression of the night was joy.
As I thought more about the evening, I realized that the joy comes from each of us choosing daily to be a disciple of Christ. There's even a connection to the movie these minions come from... hear me out. In Despicable Me, the minions follow their leader (Gru) and do whatever he asks. They trust him and have lots of fun together. And they are always joyful (and hilarious). So too with disciples of Jesus. When we can trust Him and do as He says, we too can experience the joy of working for a greater cause than ourselves, together. The minions never work alone, they are always in small groups. So too with us, we must stick together in our cause to help Jesus win back the world. Rather than getting to steal the moon.... we hope to obtain eternal life. I am so thankful that I get to help these five women in their walk of discipleship. Thank you, ladies, for saying yes to Jesus!
Possibly the biggest role I have as a FOCUS missionary is to equip students to be student missionaries, inviting them into discipleship and building them up to be sent on mission while students, but ultimately for the rest of their lives on this earth. This semester, I am blessed to disciple five amazing women. This means that each week, I get to spend an hour with each of them, talking about how their prayer life is, setting goals, and discussing struggles and successes they have in reaching women in their lives and bible studies. It is another of my favorite parts of each week.
Community is important and I realized a couple weeks ago that even though I get to spend time each week with these five ladies, rarely do they all get to be together due to busy work, school, and bible study schedules. So I sent a doodle poll (best tool ever for scheduling) and found a time that worked. 9pm. Thursday. Alright let's do it. I confirmed with everyone and asked them to set aside that time last week, and bought Minion (Despicable Me) graham crackers..... not even knowing what would happen.
As my bible study finished and all the disciples arrived, we popped open the box of minions for a snack. As we did, we realize that there are six minions named on the box... and six of us. We quickly proceed to each choose a minion and then joke about which is which. I cannot put into words the incredible laughter and joy surrounding this... and all over minion crackers. We had some good time sharing our work as missionaries and getting to know one another.... but the lasting impression of the night was joy.
As I thought more about the evening, I realized that the joy comes from each of us choosing daily to be a disciple of Christ. There's even a connection to the movie these minions come from... hear me out. In Despicable Me, the minions follow their leader (Gru) and do whatever he asks. They trust him and have lots of fun together. And they are always joyful (and hilarious). So too with disciples of Jesus. When we can trust Him and do as He says, we too can experience the joy of working for a greater cause than ourselves, together. The minions never work alone, they are always in small groups. So too with us, we must stick together in our cause to help Jesus win back the world. Rather than getting to steal the moon.... we hope to obtain eternal life. I am so thankful that I get to help these five women in their walk of discipleship. Thank you, ladies, for saying yes to Jesus!
 |
| back: Monica, Teia, Kayla front: me, Kayla, Shannon |
 |
| the minion list |
Monday, February 17, 2014
bulldogCatholic week
Last week was awesome. crazy. exhausting. inspiring. busy. grace-filled. Many adjectives would work to describe how the first bulldogCatholic week was... it was just that incredible. It will be hard to do the week justice in a post, but I'm going to try to just share some of my experience from a missionary standpoint.
First of all, I did not realize how much work goes into planning a Catholic week. When I was a student at NDSU, I helped with our first bisonCatholic week - but I owe the missionaries a big thank you because wow is there a lot to juggle. Thankfully, my amazing teammate Mat and a group of 4 students did all the promotion. Plus, I had a great group of 4 students to help with the many logistics of room reservations, set up, tear down, and everything in between.
The excitement began the Thursday before it all started when Shannon and I went barehanding. Essentially, barehanding is all about just walking up to someone you don't know and talking to them about faith. With the upcoming week, our opening line was easier than usual: "hey, have you heard about bulldogCatholic week and the debate?" After a few invitations that weren't super welcomed, we tried another students. Let's call her "L". L seemed very interested in what we had to say, and shared that she was Christian and striving to have a relationship with Jesus, but not really involved in formal campus ministry events. Shannon instantly knew what to do and invited her to join her bible study! The girls exchanged numbers and we went on our way. The next week, Shannon came up to me on Monday after her bible study. "L came to study! And she's coming to the debate tonight!" Sure enough, L was there at the debate with Shannon and her friends that evening. I can't wait to see what the semester has in store for her.
Speaking of the debate, we hosted one! Last Monday, we invited a Catholic philosopher and an atheist philosopher to discuss the rationality of Christianity and take some Q&A. I was really nervous about what kind of attendance we would have..... and then the lecture hall started to fill. and fill. and fill. until about 330 people filled Boh90! Needless to say, I'm learning not to worry so much about how things will turn out.
We also had Australian native Matt Fradd come to Duluth. I had the honor of being his chauffeur while he was here and it was so fun to talk with him about his ministry and share the state of our campus ministry with him. About 175 students came to his talk on Tuesday, which was awesome. It was great to see so many people there, including quite a few members of my athletes' bible study!!
Overall, what was most inspiring to me was how much ownership of the week the student missionaries took! They really rose to the challenge of filling the events and promoting them, taking shifts at our booth on campus and helping hang posters throughout the week. It was great to see them being bold as Catholic leaders on the campus. Below is a picture of one of my disciples, Kayla, and I at the Ask a Catholic booth:
I'm excited to continue to ride the momentum created by all the events last week and really dive in to bible study and discipleship more. My Thursday bible study is going to begin a new series about Who Jesus Is. I'm excited to put the study together just for them and hopefully help them grow in their ability to pray and know Christ!
Until my next blog...
First of all, I did not realize how much work goes into planning a Catholic week. When I was a student at NDSU, I helped with our first bisonCatholic week - but I owe the missionaries a big thank you because wow is there a lot to juggle. Thankfully, my amazing teammate Mat and a group of 4 students did all the promotion. Plus, I had a great group of 4 students to help with the many logistics of room reservations, set up, tear down, and everything in between.
The excitement began the Thursday before it all started when Shannon and I went barehanding. Essentially, barehanding is all about just walking up to someone you don't know and talking to them about faith. With the upcoming week, our opening line was easier than usual: "hey, have you heard about bulldogCatholic week and the debate?" After a few invitations that weren't super welcomed, we tried another students. Let's call her "L". L seemed very interested in what we had to say, and shared that she was Christian and striving to have a relationship with Jesus, but not really involved in formal campus ministry events. Shannon instantly knew what to do and invited her to join her bible study! The girls exchanged numbers and we went on our way. The next week, Shannon came up to me on Monday after her bible study. "L came to study! And she's coming to the debate tonight!" Sure enough, L was there at the debate with Shannon and her friends that evening. I can't wait to see what the semester has in store for her.
Speaking of the debate, we hosted one! Last Monday, we invited a Catholic philosopher and an atheist philosopher to discuss the rationality of Christianity and take some Q&A. I was really nervous about what kind of attendance we would have..... and then the lecture hall started to fill. and fill. and fill. until about 330 people filled Boh90! Needless to say, I'm learning not to worry so much about how things will turn out.
We also had Australian native Matt Fradd come to Duluth. I had the honor of being his chauffeur while he was here and it was so fun to talk with him about his ministry and share the state of our campus ministry with him. About 175 students came to his talk on Tuesday, which was awesome. It was great to see so many people there, including quite a few members of my athletes' bible study!!
Overall, what was most inspiring to me was how much ownership of the week the student missionaries took! They really rose to the challenge of filling the events and promoting them, taking shifts at our booth on campus and helping hang posters throughout the week. It was great to see them being bold as Catholic leaders on the campus. Below is a picture of one of my disciples, Kayla, and I at the Ask a Catholic booth:
I'm excited to continue to ride the momentum created by all the events last week and really dive in to bible study and discipleship more. My Thursday bible study is going to begin a new series about Who Jesus Is. I'm excited to put the study together just for them and hopefully help them grow in their ability to pray and know Christ!
Until my next blog...
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Why I love Leading my Athlete's Bible Study
Last year, God had placed it on my heart to try starting an all-athlete women's bible study at UMD. At first, it was a little rough to meet athletes and have them be committed to coming to bible study. But I was convinced that God wanted me to do it - so I stuck with it. Today, I am thankful that I did. I wanted to just share the graces that are why I love leading this bible study, especially after a fantastic study on trust last night:
1. The Women: are amazing! I have been blessed now to have 2 volleyball women, 4 basketball, and 2 track join my study. These women inspire me. They not only pursue excellence in their sport and academics, but also in bible study. Their openness in sharing their struggles and successes in following Christ is amazing and their dedication and appreciation of bible study is truly inspiring. I am so thankful for having met each one of them.
2. The Prayer: This semester, we are taking 10 minutes each week to pray with Scripture as a part of study. Not only does God teach me something amazing, but He also is truly at work in the minds and hearts of each woman present. I love hearing what they have been inspired with. Last night, we even started having the ladies take turns closing in prayer! I'm excited for them to grow in their confidence in prayer with others and leading others to Christ.
3. The Games: Part of leading these women is also watching them compete - and I love it! I've always loved sports, and knowing these ladies gives me a reason to not just be a Bulldogs fan, but to support and encourage the athletes I know. I will gladly support them in the stands at as many home games as I can and love them win or lose.
4. The Trust: Through the rough start last fall with this study, God has taught me to trust Him. Additionally, last night during our prayer time at bible study, I realized I still have a long road ahead of learning this trust. While meditating on Matthew 6:25-34, I realized I often have a mindset of a non-believer, rather than truly letting my trust in God's love be my default reaction to stressors in life. It was a great wake-up call to continue to trust more.
5. The Humility: Through our discussions, I'm constantly humbled because these women teach me so much - and I'm supposedly the leader! It is refreshing to remember that just because I plan Bible study and communicate plans to everyone, I still can learn a lot from each of these women. Sometimes I think I'm learning more than they are!
I am so thankful for these women, their love of Christ, and their willingness to carve out an hour each week to spend a little time with me growing as sisters in Christ together. Wednesday nights are definitely a highlight of my week and I hope this post encourages other leaders to view their bible studies with deep gratitude and joy as well.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)